You May Not Know This

One spring we traveled state highways across several southeastern states. We didn’t count but there must have been hundreds of churches along those highways and almost every one of them was advertising their “Spring Revival.” The only sign along those highways that outnumbered “Spring Revival” signs were signs for “Free Kittens.” Thousands.

Comedian Jeff Allen tells the story about his wife buying a kitten. The cadence of his voice sticks in my head: “You bought a kitten? You paid money! for a kitten?” A purchased kitten—incredulity is your name.

A family member has been pre-approved to adopt a kitten. I like kittens and I’m not making fun. The concept seems strange. I have offered to use the purchase price money to drive to mid-Alabama and pick up a litter which we can then sell on the black market out of the trunk. Keep the pick of the litter—man? We would be cash money ahead, get to eat southern cooking and get out of the cold weather.

It is not as simple as, “I’ll take the female gray one.” Being “pre-approved” actually means they trust your initial look and will allow you to apply for full approval. That means you give them permission to talk to the vet of every pet you’ve ever owned, submit seven personal and business references, two forms of federal ID, a credit report and a copy of your 2014 IRS return.

As I have watched and listened to the negotiations, a stunning thought came into my mind:

It is easier to get married than to adopt a kitten.

©2015 D. Dean Benton Writer and Wonderer.
Benton Blogs and Books

1 thought on “You May Not Know This

  1. Now that is funny! I think the word you wanted was credulous. (old school teachers never die; they just live to find other people’s grammatical bloopers).

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